No One’s Hero

Is there something in the air right now that’s causing politicians to embellish their military service?  I hope it’s not contagious.  If it were, here’s what I could say in my stump speech:

“I was wounded while in the military during Vietnam.  Furthermore, my actions were so noteworthy that they prompted a special gathering during which I received personal recognition from my unit for my actions and my injuries (you can still see the scars).  It was a day I will never forget!”

It’s true.  Everything I just said.  And if I were campaigning, I could trumpet it just as I’ve described above.  And it would all be completely accurate.

But here’s what really happened.  I was an Air Force reservist during the Vietnam War on a training weekend at a base in Colorado.  I was a clerk-typist and my assignment one day was to help paint an office.  But my co-reservists and I got bored and decided to have what we called an “office Olympics.”  The first event was to jump on to a desktop from a standing position.  A couple of guys successfully did it, then it was my turn.

But when I jumped, the front of my shoes hit the edge of the desk and my momentum caused my shins to scrape against the edge before I fell backwards onto the floor.  The horseplay left  my shins bloody.  I couldn’t find any band-aids to help stop the bleeding, but then I looked out the window.  There was the base infirmary.

So I went to the infirmary where they cleaned the cuts and gave me some band-aids.  But my visit to the infirmary triggered something else:  an official accident report!  And unbeknownst to me, our unit had a long-standing record of no accidents–my stupidity wrecked the streak.  So the next training weekend, there was a special assembly to go over basic safety principles because of what I’d done.  Apparently our commander was pretty steamed.  Oops.

I received no official reprimand for my boneheadedness, but I did get a story I can trot out if I ever run for office.  It could come right after the account of my time at Oxford…

This entry was posted in Phil Ponce, unPHILtered. Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Both comments and trackbacks are currently closed.
  • http://www.makeupsuppliers.net Talia Jeanquart

    Oh I missed the HIV Testing Day. It was yesterday. Didn’t read this news. Poor issue is my company didn’t help me to diagnosis.